Today was hard core. I had to face the prospect of editing my beloved script. I felt borderline traumatised at the start of the process and exhausted by the end. But now that it’s done, I feel strangely liberated.
Words are important. We know that. Every word I wrote in my script meant something to me. And today made me realise how important it is to remember who the words were written for. The words that get spoken on the stage are for the audience. I want them to get the story, to enjoy it, to mull it over. If it’s not too audacious to say so, I want them to leave changed, if only in some small way. If something can be said with fewer words, without losing the message, then so be it. But the script in its various drafts was also written for me, to empty myself of certain thoughts, unvoiced conversations, anxieties and blows. There are words of affection, brutality and connivance that will not be seen now following my hatchet job. However, nothing is wasted. I wrote the words and discharged a burden in the process. The final version of the script is better for the cull and I’ve learnt an important lesson about letting go and choosing when to fight and when to submit to greater experience.
The cuts will now star in a future work.